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The Yellowstone Bacteria are Bacteria that were found in Yellowstone and feed off mold and wood.

Table of Contents:

  1. ~ Description
  2. ~ Protocols
  3. ~ Behavior
  4. ~ Signs
  5. ~ Location
  6. ~ Danger
  7. ~ Solution
  8. ~ Questions and Answers
  9. ~ Programs and Campaigns

Part I - Description

Yellowstone Bacteria can be described as single-celled organisms which grow in springs, ponds, or hot areas, in households, it can grow inside ovens, pots, etcetera. Currently, most cases describe it as a sort of "greenish sludge" which smells like fecal matter. Currently, Yellowstone Bacteria are mainly found in springs in the Yellowstone national park. Also, it has a common Yellow pigmentation, otherwise, it can be green, red, or even black (in rare cases).

Part II - Protocols

When dealing with Yellowstone bacteria, it is advised to never come into physical contact with it, being advised to use plastic gloves if necessary, furthermore, the recommendation is to use plastic gloves and plastic bags ontop of those gloves to have a near-zero chance of coming into contact.

Currently, Yellowstone Bacteria has the Acronym Protocol of DoToUsPlExZi protocol. The following steps are:

  1. Don't Touch.
  2. Use Plastic Bags and Gloves
  3. Extract and put it in a Ziploc bag.

Look below to the Solutions for further protocols.

Part III - Behavior

The Yellowstone Bacteria don't have any sort of behavior other from the fact that its life cycle is confusing, it starts off as a colony of bacteria but turns into a sort of "sapient humanoid" if left unoticed. These are called Yellows, when Yellows are featured, call the HCSH hotline, if unavailable, take any sort of weapon you have and exterminate it. Look below to the solutions on how to.

Otherwise, if you do extract it before its Yellow stage, you are fine.

Theres also the danger that you might get Yellow Flu from contact, please check below to Solutions and/or Danger for further details,

Part IV - Signs

Signs that a colony of Yellowstone Bacteria is in your home are:

  1. A foul, smell that smells like fecal matter.
  2. Black, Red, Green, or Yellow features in objects that need hot temperature. (Rice cookers, Heaters, Pots, etcetera).
  3. Eye irritation if cooking or using any of these appliances.
  4. A massive colony of bacteria in objects that need hot temperature (advanced stage).
  5. Unintelligible sounds (Yellow stage).
  6. Soft, sludge-ish sounds. (Yellow stage).

Part V - Location

Colonies of Yellowstone Bacteria can appear in Yellowstone National Park (where it is most prominent), Hotter locations (Such as Texas), or even everyday appliances. Some town's in Texas's have been temporarily closed down to a massive Yellowstone Bacteria infestation.

Part VI - Danger

The danger of Yellowstone Bacteria is their Yellow Stage and the Yellow Flu. Yellow Flu is a strain of Influenza which depends on the Yellowstone Bacteria, Yellow Flu's symptoms include:

  1. Fever
  2. Cough and Sneeze (Which instead of phlegm, it seems to eject more Yellowstone Bacteria).
  3. Rash
  4. Weakness in Breathing/Athsma
  5. Sudden stomach pains
  6. Headaches
  7. Sleepiness/Fainting.

Otherwise, Yellowstone Bacteria are harmless, they only grow in colonies, but Yellow's are highly dangerous. The yellowstone bacteria seems to make concentrated acetic acid spit. Now, the Yellowstone Bacteria have a weird "off and on" switch where they can switch from Anaerobic (for a few weeks, some documented cases have colonies of it last for 9 weeks without Oxygen.) But this seems to cut off any possibility of Yellow's growing. Yellowstone Bacteria also seem to "eat" these dry colonies to turn it into the Acetic Acid spit. Mostly because theres an average 2-6 Yellowstone Bacteria colonies per house that do have these hot appliances.

Now, Yellow's Acetic spit are rare, often only happening in ultra-specific cases and requirements.

Currently, Yellow's have crow-level intelligience, with some captives that we were able to capture, which we named Joey and Claire, were able to solve some basic puzzles.

If you want to see how to deal with Yellow's, look below.

Part VII - Solution

When dealing with Yellowstone Bacteria, this part will be split up into three parts (The Bacteria itself, Yellow FLu, and the Yellow's.)

Sub-Part - Yellowstone Bacteria

When dealing with Yellowstone Bacteria, the most recommended protocol is the DoToUsPlExZi protocol. Look to the Protocols part for the steps.

Also, when you do call the HCSH, we will send a single Expert to extract the bacteria.

When killing the bacteria for good, you need to use hydrochloric acid, or any sort of corrosive acid, also make sure to put them in cold water since they can die out using it. Make sure that it is cold for around 2 hours.

Sub-Part - Yellow Flu

When dealing with Yellow Flu, it is often recommended to check into the local DHCA Regional Office near you. (Check out our List of Regional Offices for Reference. )

Currently, Yellow Flu can be both dealt using Help or if you are alone, use the Icecold protocol. Look below for the steps.

IceCold Protocol:

Needed Materials:

  1. Water.
  2. An ice tray.
  3. Any form of towel.
  4. A pack of Xanthocilin (Medically perscribed).
  5. A pack of Excitex (Medically perscribed).

Steps:

  1. Put towel into cold water and place it onto your forehead.
  2. Hourly, take one pill of Xanthocilin orally.
  3. At 5-8 P:M, take a pill of Excitex and another one at 9-12:00 P:M/A:M, if you take one at 5, take another at 9, if you took one at 6, take on at 10, etcetera.
  4. Drink atleast 9 cups of Ice-cold water daily.
  5. Repeat for atleast two weeks. If still not gone, go to a doctor or a DHCA clinic.

Sub-Part - Yellow's

When dealing with Yellow's, you must take any sort of weapon and ready up to be able to fight it. If you do not have a weapon, try to lure them out into a hot area, for example, Operation Yellowbusters, where a massive superhorde of 50 Stage Three Yellow's was seen in Dallas, Texas and a group of 4 Militant Trucks and 2 DHCA Trucks lured them out into Arizona.

Subsequently, Yellow's are designated into 4 Stages, this is the reason the Danger scale wasn't in the Danger part.

  1. Stage One
  2. Stage One Yellow's are often the weakest, with them being more malleable and prone to temperature shifts. Stage One Yellow's can easily be killed with knives, blades, or even guns. Currently, the weakpoints of Stage One Yellow's is the center of their Torso, the head, or even their throats (Which we will get into later).

  1. Stage Two
  2. Stage Two Yellow's are more mature, but they still are not strong enough to be a threat. Stage Two Yellow's do have more durability since it they are formed around 48 hours after a Yellow is made. These yellow's can still be damaged by the same weapons as Stage One's. But Stage Two's are agile, so try and attack them from the behind and/or a surprise attack.
  1. Stage Three
  2. Stage Three Yellow's are when they become a threat, Stage Three's can only be damaged by extreme temperature shifts, guns, or even cold water. Since a woman (asked to stay anounymous) splashed a bucket of ice cold water onto a Stage Three yellow and it split apart. Currently, we are still trial-ing on how this works. Only 40/121 Experiments have proven to work.
  1. Stage Four
  2. Stage Four's are the most dangerous, they take a month to grow and are often durable enough to handle a single rifle shot. Even shotgun's seem to only damage them a little. This is because they collect dry colonies to act as armor and both acetic spit. Most encounters with one are recommended to try and kill it as fast as possible. It's also recommended to take anything and cover you up, even pillows work (temporarily.)

Question's and Answers

Hello, I am Dr. Charles who specializes in Yellowstone Bacterial research and trials.

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